Sabbath Renewal

I am back after a month long sabbatical.  I have been to the mountain top, and I have returned with many words of wisdom.  Or put in a less dramatic way, I am back after a refreshing break.

God did impress upon me several things while I was away.  Some of them more personal in the realm of conviction and correction and some of them more general and confirming.  I came back from a month away more excited than ever about ReCAST Church.  I missed all of these people that God has brought together to form a local community of worshipers.

But I also felt renewed in my calling to be a pastor.  Let me say in a moment of flat out honesty, that I am made of the same stuff as everyone else.  And leading a church can take its toll.  It is not as much a set of responsibilities.  I don’t lift as much as some people, I don’t drive as far, I don’t dig as much as some people. But,  I would humbly suggest that there are a lot of expectations on a pastor.  Every sermon should be witty AND serious.  He should love to be around people AND love to study in silence.  He should be a good administrator BUT not too administrative.  He should love God AND love sinners.  He should model balance, calm, peace, joy, being a good husband, being a good father, rising early, staying healthy, studying the word, all while never having too much beer.

So as I wrote these things out, I left for sabbatical focused on this list.  I wanted to ask God, if I truly match the job description.  My question to God this month was simple and honest . . . ‘How am I doing?”  And I believe He subtly kicked back and asked “Why do you want to know? Are you looking for an out?”

And then he started tearing me down.  I have been convicted of my shortfalls in many areas.  Am I a model husband, model father, model rejoicer, model peacemaker, model human?  Yikes!  Where is all this going?

But in the midst of my sabbatical God pressed on me that even though I am not perfect, I am still useful.  I believe that there is strength found in a genuine humility that comes frequently to look at our shortcomings.  It is faith inducing to realize that I cannot, but God can!  In reading through a book about calling by the Puritan, William Perkins, I came to realize that there is a recognition of weakness that is inherent to our callings.

I believe that I am a pastor.  Not because I have everything nailed down, sewn up and figured out.  But I believe I am a pastor because God has called me, equipped me, confirmed that calling through others, and used me to further His kingdom.

I do not believe that I am merely just a pastor, but the pastor of ReCAST Church, by the calling of our Great God.  I will serve Him here until they are tired of me, or God moves me on in clarity.  I am energized and eager.  I have a new vision and a renewed calling to be the man of God in my community.